Funny/Embarrassing Stories

For our Family History Challenge this week the kids were all asked to submit a funny or embarrassing story to share with the family. I look forward to seeing what they wrote! This also sparked a few more. Here they are! 

(This happened a couple of days ago)

 Jenna (age 12) told her friend Anna "It took five-ever!!" (An expression that she gets from Janelle). Anna replied, "It isn't five-ever, it is FOR-EVER." Jenna retorted with, "Well, why does four always get to be the lucky number!" 

And one from Janelle from her date Saturday: 

Janelle and her friends were playing Jackbox at our house after her Senior Ball. One of the games is called "Fakin it," where everyone is secretly given the same instructions to do something -- except for one person (the faker) who has no instructions, but tries to blend in and copy the others so that they are not caught. The instructions said: "Make the face you would make when you are cuddled by a fire." The other teenagers in the group made a happy face of contentment as they imagined themselves cuddling with someone they like near a fireplace. Janelle also received the instructions, but took it literally as "a fire is cuddling you," which she thought was odd, but she proceeded to make the face of a panicked person in horror as if ready to be consumed by fire. Everyone assumed that she must be the "the faker." Either that, or she just didn't enjoy cuddling!

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When I was a Senior in high school I worked at Kmart. I worked in the domestics department (bedding and so forth) in the back corner. They had an intercom in the store to announce blue-light specials or to call more checkers to come up front. They would use the intercom to tell everyone it was time to go clock-out after a night shift. Well, I had to work on Christmas Eve and was in the back straightening up my area when I noticed that it seemed really quiet. I decided to walk to the front of the store and noticed the manager was starting to lock up the doors before leaving. He noticed me and remarked, "What are you doing here? Everyone has left -- you were almost locked in!" Apparently he had decided to let everyone go earlier than usual since it was Christmas Eve, but hadn't announced it over the intercom. This was way before cell phones and I wouldn't have had anyone's personal phone numbers -- only their work numbers. I was embarrassed, but very relieved that I didn't actually get locked into Kmart on Christmas Eve! 

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When I was on my mission we were teaching a Deaf man about the law of chastity. The ASL sign for "sex" is very similar to the sign for "shave" (as in shaving a beard). We came back a week or so later and this man had started to grow out a beard. We commented on it and he said (in sign language), "Well, you told me that I wasn't supposed to "shave" until after marriage!" Woops! We then explained to him that he wasn't supposed to have sex before marriage -- shaving was perfectly fine! 

A couple from my blog... 

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

I went to help in Jase’s kindergarten classroom and Jared (age 3) was playing in the playhouse. I guess he left to go to the bathroom by himself (which is across the hall) and I didn’t notice since I was busy with the students. Well apparently, after he finished, he needed help wiping and just sat on the toilet yelling, "MOM!" over and over. Then some girls heard him and went all the way down the hall to tell their teacher, who in turn informed the principal. The principal went down to the restroom and got Jared’s name and then announced over the intercom, "Will Mrs. Jensen please come to the office." I heard the announcement, but figured that the “Mrs. Jensen” must be another teacher or someone else who worked there. A little later I needed to use the restroom and I went in and heard a child call out, “Mommy?” I ignored the voice thinking it must be a student or something and went back into the classroom. Then the principal came in and told me what had happened and I was so surprised to learn that she had indeed been calling ME and that it WAS my child -- and he had been sitting there on the toilet the whole time! How embarrassing! 

 Monday, October 18, 2010

I scheduled all of my kids for flu shots today this morning. Then I ended up with an interpreting appointment and so I asked Rick if he would take them. My appointment ended early and I was right by the hospital and so I called Rick and told him that I would meet them there. It was a good thing I came because Rick was getting frustrated because they were out of the shots and only had the mist. He was ranting about how the shots were out and the mist was a live virus and now everyone was going to get sick -- and what about Janelle and Jared who were already coughing -- sick kids couldn't get the shot anyway, could they? Then as if to emphasize Rick's point, Jared (age 10) gave a couple of fake coughs. I told him that I would take over and he could leave with the two youngest (who had their shots last week). My pediatrician assured me that they were fine to get the mist in spite of having a little cold and that it wouldn't make them sick. Janika volunteered first and then they each volunteered in order of age. They did just fine -- except for Jared. He faked a little coughing and then pretended to pass out on the floor! (Thankfully our pediatrician knew him well enough to know that he was totally faking!) 

 

 

 

Melted Garbage Cans and Near Misses!!

This is what happened when Rick tried to burn the edges of Jaiden's birthday poem to give it that cool, antique look. It wasn't successful and he ended up throwing the failed attempt into the garbage. A while later I heard this thumping noise and said, "What is that sound?" Then I looked out the window to see smoke going by and wondered if there was a wind storm or something. Then suddenly I put it all together and exclaimed, "Did you start a fire??!!" Rick and I both ran outside to see our garbage can melted halfway to the ground and our neighbors shooting water at it from their hose in their backyard. The thumping noise was the water hitting our house. Thank goodness they were outside barbecuing and saw the fire! The garbage can is right next to our house and the fire could easily have spread to the house and gotten out of control! Pretty scary!! We feel grateful that it wasn't worse!!

The Truth Revealed (Jenna Catches the Easter Bunny)

We have never emphasized the Easter Bunny at our house. In fact we have hardly ever even mentioned the Easter Bunny so as not to take away from the true meaning of Easter. We still do Easter baskets and dye eggs and have Easter egg hunts, but we don't say things like "Aren't you excited for the Easter Bunny to come tonight?" In fact when Jenna stumbled upon some candy in my closet and asked what it was for I told it was for the Easter baskets. She said, "I thought that the Easter Bunny filled our baskets!" I didn't affirm or deny that and when she asked Rick if the Easter bunny was real he just waved his hand and scoffed and said, "no." She refused to believe that and set out to write a letter to the Easter Bunny. 

She wanted a way to prove the Easter Bunny was real and Rick suggested that she set up a camera that would supposedly take pictures during the night if it detected any movements (as if that was a thing) to "reveal the truth." After she went to bed Rick thought it would be funny to have he and I pose for the pictures as if we had been "caught in the act." I know that sounds a little mean, but we decided at ten years old she should probably know the truth about the Easter Bunny and so we decided to go ahead. She was singing a duet with Rick in Sacrament meeting on Easter Sunday and so I told Rick not to show her the "the footage" until after church so as not to upset her right before her musical number (which was absolutely beautiful by the way!)

After church she asked to see the "footage" and we showed her. She burst into tears and ran into her room. I went in to hug her and she said that we had lied to her. She said, "That means nothing is real -- Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, nothing!!" Then she said "you could have at least taken a picture of a stuffed bunny or something!" I said, "Well wouldn't that be lying?" I explained that Jesus was real and that Easter was a time to remember and celebrate His atonement and resurrection. Of course she already knew all that but I guess she wasn't ready to give up the fun and magic of the rest.  Later we found that she had written little messages across her can of Stax potato chips such as "Easter Bunny not real," "All a lie," "Drawn (her spelling) away from my childhood," with pictures of frownie faces with tears coming down. She is so dramatic!! 

Week One in Review

Well we survived the first week of school.  The night before school started Rick gave all of the kids' Father's blessings.  Jenna was very reverent for the first couple but after that she lost patience and was jumping up and down on the ottoman singing, "up and down, up and down!"  We were tempted to lock her in her room by the time we finished.

I went with Janelle and Jaiden on their first day of school to help them find their classrooms and get situated.    Kindergarten starts a week later so I think Josh felt a little gypped that he didn't get to go to his class.  Jaiden had an appointment with the Wound Clinic and so I had to come back to the school and get her a couple of hours later.  I dropped the two youngest off with a friend while I brought Jaiden to her appointment.  The doctor was a kind older man with white hair and an engaging personality.  He offered Jaiden $25.00 if he could cut off the braid in her hair and keep it.  She giggled and shook her head and then he said, "How about $50.00?"  I told the doctor he had better watch out or she would take him up on it!  Then we ran into our neighbor who works there. She always brings sunshine into a room and so it was fun to see her.  After the appointment I dropped Jaiden back off to school and picked up Josh and Jenna.  We decided to go swimming and the water felt so refreshing in the heat and they loved the play time.  It wasn't long before Jared arrived home.  He is on the early schedule now and so he is the first one home.  I love having one home by 2:25.  I am usually very tired by that time and longing for a nap.  So after the daily chit chat about school, I leave him in charge of Josh and Jenna while I sleep for a half hour.  He likes it too because it gives him a few minutes to chill before he has to do his other jobs.

I asked Jared how his first day of school went and he said in the voice of one who is pleasantly surprised, "You know, it actually went really well!"  Then Jase got home a half hour later bursting through the door with, "that was the longest day of my entire life!!!"  Poor kid.  Janika's day at the high school went well too and the other kids all had good first days.  After school I hurried Jaiden off to her dance class and then started cooking chicken tacos for dinner.  After a wonderful dinner we decided that for our FHE activity we would  run out to Wal-Mart for school supplies since many of the kids had come home with a new list of things they needed before the next day (or at least that is what they claimed).  So we headed off for notebooks, calculators, 3X5 cards and so forth.

I also got shoes for Janelle.  I didn't find out until this morning that all of her tennis shoes that fit at the beginning of summer were suddenly too small.  I tried to get her to wear sandals like she has been all summer but she likes to wear tennis shoes to school so that she can run around and play sports at recess.  Janelle is so funny because she put on these old pair of shoes this morning that were full of holes and falling apart.  I had been meaning to sneak them into the garbage but forgot.  When I saw her wearing them I told her she needed new shoes.  She said, "These ones are just fine -- I hate for you to have to spend your money on shoes for me."  She is one of our frugal ones.  But I insisted that we really could afford $15.00 for a pair of shoes!  And then Jaiden didn't want to be left out so she got a pair too even though she doesn't really need them.  Wal-Mart was out of the cheap composition notebooks and we ended up having to go to three more stores to find some.  We had been planning on going out for ice-cream after (we had several coupons for free cones) but it was so late by the time we finished that we brought everyone straight home amidst protests and crying.  It was a long first day!

Tuesday morning I had some neighbor kids over for playground for three hours in the morning.  Then Josh and Jenna were invited over to a friend's house and it was so deathly hot outside that I decided to swim for an hour in our pool.  It was heavenly!  Jared came home and I retrieved the kids and took a nap.  That night I went to the elementary school "Back to School Night" while Rick stayed home with the kids.   When I was in Janelle's class the teacher happened to mention an experience she had that day.  She had told the kids to write a paper using their best third grade handwriting.  She said, "I want your handwriting to be so neat that anyone can read it."  Then she said she had one student who raised their hand and said, "Well, what if they are blind?"  Everyone laughed and I thought, 'sounds like Janelle.'  So I went home and asked her and sure enough -- it was her.

The next day Janelle came home and said that the teacher banned the class from asking "what if" questions (which Janelle is notorious for).  Then the next day Janelle came home in tears because her clip had been moved down because of talking in class.  She was really taking it hard because I don't think she has ever been "in trouble" before.  I started to worry a little but then the next day Janelle came home all smiley and happy and said, "Prayers really do work! Today I got my clip moved all the way to the top!!"  Whew!  Glad to hear she made it over this little bump.  She can be overly inquisitive to the point of being annoying (as her brothers will attest to).  But I don't want to squelch her curiosity and interest either!  

Wednesday was Josh's kindergarten assessment (he did great) while Jenna played a neighbor friend.  Wednesday night was Achievement Days for Janelle, a Board of Review for Jase and Jared, Young Womens for Janika, Interviews for Rick, and bathing kids for me.  Bathing kids has always been one of my least desired responsibilities.  I am not sure exactly why -- maybe because it hurts my back to lean over the tub and wash hair or maybe because I end up getting soaked or maybe because the kids end up screaming an ear splitting scream that echoes in the little bathroom piercing my ears.  I often try to pass off that job to Rick, Janika, or Jared.  But they were all gone tonight.  But bath time is getting easier now that we only have to bathe the three youngest and the older kids can take care of themselves.       

Thursday Jaiden had another appointment at the wound clinic with an hour waiting time.  I tried to keep her entertained by reading to her from "The Friend."   This is the first time I met the doctor who did her surgery.  Jaiden was pretty quiet and nervous about the prospect of getting her stitches taken out, but the doctor decided to wait a week and suddenly Jaiden was cheerful and chatty, talking non stop.  Thursday evening I had my Adjunct Faculty meeting which stretched on for two long hours.

Friday night we ended up having a BBQ at our house with our friends, the Adams.  They are moving to Salt Lake and so this might be the last time we will see them for a long time.  We have gone camping with them several times and done a lot of fun things together.  We will miss them and Jase will really miss their son, McCabe, who is one of his best friends.  They are excited to start on a new adventure though and we wish them the best of luck!

Saturday Rick came home from his early morning shopping trip with two huge cases of uncooked chicken that needed to be cut and bagged up in order to freeze.  I also made three or four chicken dinners to freeze for future use and put a bunch in some marinade for dinner tomorrow.  It took several hours to cut up all of the chicken and make several meals and it was tiring.  We also babysat my friend's kids for about five hours. They were really good and our kids loved playing with their kids.  They spent several hours in the pool.  Then Rick and I went to the temple and Janika went to the monthly Region dance. 

Sunday I helped teach the primary a couple of songs in sign language for the upcoming primary program.   Rick pulled me aside after church and said he invited one of our members over for lunch right after church.  Good thing I had food prepared!  Rick barbecued the marinated chicken and I had a rice/vegetable casserole ready and we also had green salad, tomato salad, and perfect corn on the cob.   It really hit the spot.  Rick and our guest then went and visited other branch members.   Everyone is still adapting to the earlier schedule and as you can see the first week of school was tiring for our kids too...

Embarrassing Moments

I went to help in Jase’s kindergarten classroom and Jared (age 3) was playing in the playhouse. I guess he left to go to the bathroom by himself (which is across the hall) and I didn’t notice since I was busy with the students. Well apparently after he finished he needed help wiping and just sat on the toilet screaming and screaming. Then some girls heard him and went all the way down the hall to tell their teacher who informed the principal who went down to the restroom and got Jared’s name and then called me down to the office. 

I heard the call but figured the “Mrs. Jensen” must be some other teacher or something. In the meantime I needed to use the restroom and I went in and heard a child saying “Mommy?” I ignored the voice thinking it must be a student or something. Well how surprised I was to find out it WAS my child and he was just sitting there on the toilet. The principal came in and told me what had happened.  How embarrassing! I guess I’ll have to keep a closer eye on him next time!