The Birds and the Bees

Many years ago Rick and I were listening to one of Richard and Linda Eyre's parenting tapes while we were traveling in the car. One of the ideas they gave in this particular book was to talk to your child about the facts of life when he or she is 8 years old. They talked about having mini-discussions with your child from age three on which lead up to "the big talk" at age 8. They said that with each of their children they would have a special dinner with mom and dad and explain to their child how they were going to talk to them about something wonderful and incredibly important. We really liked the idea and have implemented it with all of our children. Apparently the Eyres even have a script you can follow but it has been years since we have read/listened to their book and so we haven't followed that but have just explained things in simple terms using a spiritual perspective.

I know I have had people say, "I can't imagine teaching my 8 year old about the facts of life -- he or she seems so young still." But we agree with the Eyres that it is better for them to learn true facts from parents in a loving environment with a spiritual perspective than to learn from the world's perspective on television or other ways.

Well, since Janelle is turning 8 years old, Rick and I planned for her special dinner. She is one of our most curious and inquisitive children and whenever she has brought up certain questions at home one of the older kids have said something to the effect, "don't worry, you will find out when you are eight!" Janelle is a little chatter box. In fact, she talked so much on the way to the restaurant that I wondered if we would even be able to get a word in. All the way to the restaurant we learned all of the details of her "Heads Up, Seven Up" game in school that day and how she got to be "leader of the day" and show her class five of her favorite items that she brought in a special bag.

We waited for a booth that offered privacy and told her all about the wonderful bodies that Heavenly Father has blessed us with. To find out what she already knew, we asked her about how a mommy and daddy get a baby. She launched right in with a matter-of-fact explanation about how there are cells from a mommy and cells from a daddy and those cells come together to make a baby. Then the baby grows and grows inside the mommy's tummy until it is time to be born. Then the mommy receives certain signals from the baby and knows that it is the right time for the baby to be born. We asked her how she knew all that and she said, "from a book!" Janelle is an avid reader and we do have a few childrens' books on the subject around the house and so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Of course we had to fill in the missing details but surprisingly enough she was as calm as could be. When we asked her if she had heard of the word "sex" she said, "No, but I have heard of the word "Saxaphone!"

We are pretty open about various topics in our household and so the kids already know a lot about puberty and the changes boys and girls go through well before the official school talk in the fifth grade. Janelle had lots of questions on the way home -- all spiritually related. "How were we born in heaven? Why did Satan want to force us to be good? Why did some people follow Satan instead of Heavenly Father?" So we had a nice, interesting talk all the way home.

Now that Janelle is 8 she thinks she gets to stay up late every night with the big kids. We did tell her that she gets to stay up and read scriptures with the three oldest now. Unfortunately we have to split up family reading time with the older kids and younger kids because the younger kids have no attention span and are loud and make reading pretty much impossible. So they get their separate reading time which usually includes the "Friend" magazine or a scripture story while the older kids get more grown up discussions. Well, Janelle is officially a "big kid" now -- in some ways at least. She will be baptized, she gets her own brand new BIG set of scriptures from her Grandma, she gets to stay up a little later, and she gets to fast on Fast Sundays (I don't know how excited she will be about fasting...) So many exciting things for our little girl to look forward to! We love you Janelle!